The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex carries tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be excellent too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the opportunity to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and closeness .

But when problems arise, those who This Site fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is terrific!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that many of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cosmopolitan locations, sex is Oxytocin easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" Discover More chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication disappears and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, goals, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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