The Intimacy Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

However when issues emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, however they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sex. If a potential partner is going to be sexually compatible, many gay males want to recommended you read discover out from the beginning. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with this contact form typical sense. While good sex is crucial for original site a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar